“If you want to get close to someone, travel together ; but if you want to know yourself, travel alone.” – Anonymous
I was 5 years old when I attended my first day of school. My mother brought me to kindergarten class, told me to sit in one of the colorful chairs and wait for the teacher to give me further instructions.
Mama assured me she’d be back to pick me up after class. It was a nonchalant, unceremonious goodbye considering that I don’t remember the details. But I do recall her beaming proudly from an open window amongst other mothers whose faces were lined with worry and concern over their offsprings’ separation anxieties.
I was fascinated by the novelty of the school experience. I could have basked in pleasure of this new adventure if not for the jarring reactions of the little humans around me. Their writhing, screaming, flailing, boorish behaviour sent shivers to my spine. My first thought, as I ducked from a tiny shoe thrown across the room, was “am I in immediate danger?!” I was trying to be as calm as my 5 year old self could muster and calculate my chances of surviving this despicable drama that unfolded before me.
In my conversation with mama years later, she was confident the first day of school would be a “piece of cake” for me. She noticed that new experiences interest me as a kid : climbing trees and fences, exploring the church gardens, eating food that combines unique flavors.
As a youngster, I wasn’t afraid to be left alone to entertain myself, she said, because somehow I’d find a way to wing it to make the situation enjoyable to me. That’s how my creative spark was ignited, come to think of it. With my dolls as my actors, I was able to produce tons of scripts in my head. I also did audio tape recordings (digital apps didn’t yet exist then) particularly scenes of horror stories complete with sound effects. In audio recordings, I voiced all the characters (narrator, mother, witch, child, dog, cat, wolf etc.) of my story. I would listen to the playback and be amused by my antics. I would dance in front of a mirror and imagine watching a jazz performance.
Mama said I practically lived life like “a tourist looking for new experiences rather than a jaded homegirl.”
I must have pushed my penchant for novelty and wanderlust too far as a 6 year old when I decided to head home after school by myself. I didn’t wait for my nanny to pick me up. Since I had memorized the route to my residence and I was definitely ready for adventure, I headed home on foot.
I got past the security guard, who was instructed not to let kids out of the school gate unaccompanied, by hiding behind an adult who was carrying a child out of the school premises. Then I pretended to tag along a group of college students crossing the street.
In my first foray alone, I made sure that I looked like I knew what I was doing and that I didn’t appear alone and vulnerable to people. I walked behind or beside a female adult on the way to the house.
Upon reaching my destination, I felt an indescribable elation and pride in my accomplishment. However, the euphoric feeling was short lived. As I triumphantly presented myself to my family, I was met with angry outburst from my mother and uncontrollable sobbing from a pitiable looking teen tasked to pick me up at school.
“Never ever do this to me again!”, my mama screamed as she clutched my shoulders and shook me hard. ” I thought I was going to have a heart attack, bata-a ka !”
“Do you know the pain and agony I went through thinking what could have happened to you ?! You could have been kidnapped! You could have been killed ! You never know what people sick in the head do these days!”
She was still vigorously shaking me while divulging her fears, making me wonder whether my limbs would eventually dislodge. Finally, she ended her emotional outburst with a few strong slaps to my butt and a plea : “Never do this to me again, please.”
She then kneeled and hugged me tightly whilst crying.
So from that time on I never did anything risky or implemented any of my crazy plans.
Now that I know the implications my actions have on people I love, I now inform them of my whereabouts for the day. I resumed my wanderings after mama passed away.
DISCOVERING PLACES AND PEOPLE
I knew there was a bigger world to explore outside the confines of Cebu Island. But I only started exploring other places when I had enough cash to fund the non-essentials. I’ve traveled alone from Ilocos Norte, Batangas, Metro Manila, down to Guimaras, Panglao, Bohol, Iloilo, Negros, Siquijor , further south to Cagayan de Oro, Davao and Zamboanga.
My interest in foreign cultures was sparked when I started working at my current agency. I was tasked to be part of the secretariat of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations or ASEAN foreign ministers meeting held at the Shangri-la Resort Hotel in Mactan Island. It was a one week conference that allowed me to stay in at the resort for free; talk with local and foreign media delegates; chat with government staff of different nationalities and tourists who join me at breakfast, lunch & dinner buffets.
The ASEAN Foreign Ministers Meeting gave me a glimpse of all the awesome and beautiful things I can find in other cultures.
My first trip outside the country was Bangkok, Thailand. I traveled for leisure with my two officemates.
For someone like me who spends a lot of time traveling by myself, suddenly being with people 24-7 was a bit offputting, no matter if I cherish the friendship. Especially so that we had different interests and goals for the trip.
Good thing that my travel companions were flexible enough to explore with me the city museums and eat local food with all its eclectic flavors. Since they woke up late while I was up early, I made use of the time to freshen myself and check the salad bar. I usually ate breakfast alone. My companions later joined me as I was finishing my meal. I stayed awhile to discuss our itinerary for the day and where to hire a tour guide to show us around. The week long trip to Bangkok was my first and last foreign travel experience with companions.
My first solitary trip outside the country was to Singapore. The Lion City was to me the most logical first destination for someone traveling alone since it is a relatively small place. Singapore has one of the most efficient transportation systems; security in the city is superb; airport has been consistently voted as among the best in the world; all hostels and inns can be booked online. The set-up in Singapore is easy to figure out with a map.
CULTIVATING FRIENDSHIPS
I have discovered a few things about myself on trips alone. Traveling alone forced me to move outside of my comfort zone, which made me more receptive to new people and experiences.
On some trips, I’ll have interesting conversations with people I’ll never be able to speak to again. These people talk to me about things they haven’t even told their close friends or families which fact is interesting by itself. Their main reason for doing so is because they knew we will never meet each other in the future. I noticed that people are less intimidated and more inclined to talk to me if I am alone rather than in a group and especially if I am not a resident of the place.
Travelling alone sounded ludicrous when I first started out. But whenever I think about it, it was an incredible experience. Just imagine immersing myself in all the wonder that the world had to offer, from natural marvels to street foods to experiencing completely different cultures and ways of thinking. I got to forge connections with people I met everywhere. It’s euphoric to be able to create new conversations with an old person on the bus, or a stranger at the airport or the lady reading a book at a coffee shop.
It’s true that travelling alone is a bag of mixed emotions. It’s daunting yet emancipating and exciting at the same time. It’s breathtaking because I got to see an entire experience by myself and savoured every moment without being distracted by someone else’s opinion.
Although I miss having thoughts to bounce off, travelling also challenged me and forced me to know my capabilities. It opened me up to new possibilities and perspectives.
For those whose main objective is to immerse in the various cultures of the world, then I would advise them to travel alone. They won’t regret it. They’ll feel absolutely empowered for taking control of their own destination and for sprinting across a mind blowing adventure.
Traveling alone may be a different experience for every individual. One person’s experience may not be as pleasant or as memorable as mine; but that person will never know if he/she doesn’t try. #
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