When I first saw Oprah Winfrey, an American talk show host and television producer, casually interviewing a guest at her sprawling garden, I was mesmerized.
I like Oprah’s ease and eloquence as she navigated the intellectual conversation. Most of all, she could ask difficult and personal questions that would otherwise have been awkward if it weren’t designed for an international TV program.
I wanted Oprah’s job. In fact, I fantasized about it. I didn’t like the frills that went with her work, such as the humongous production details involved, the long line of staff, the cavernous studio or her fame.
I just wanted her easy rapport with people and getting paid to interview interesting personalities. Being a talk show host sure is a good excuse for a casual tete-a-tete with anyone.
Unfortunately, at that time, I was nowhere near where I wanted to be. I was then a mousy looking nerd who wore thick eyeglasses, anxious and insecure around others, an introvert lacking foresight, continually glued to the computer screen and writing on just about any subject except myself.
DISRUPTING THE FAMILIAR
Have you heard of DISRUPTIVE INNOVATION? It is when someone comes up with disruptive ideas that challenges the traditional way of doing things and usual thought processes to come up with innovations for business or industry.
Well, I thought it was a good idea to DISRUPT MYSELF in order to break into a new field and achieve something better, something wonderfully different.
Just like a startup, unless we disrupt ourselves, we get stuck in the same groove of life, doing the same things and getting the same results. If we forget to innovate on ourselves, we fall into the doldrums. This is when we start asking existential questions which don’t really alleviate our feeling of being stuck in the old pattern of existence.
So, I did something that was so unlike me — I suddenly went on a “vacation” alone in Singapore, Johor Bahru, Hong Kong and Macau with no itinerary during the last week of December.
Yep, I spent money just to be able to think clearly, hoping that an overseas setting would do the trick. I traveled to be able to evaluate my life, and find a way out of this vicious cycle of mediocrity that’s been strangling my spirit.
But as my plane landed on the tarmac of the Changi airport, I had a moment’s surge of panic. I thought to myself, “what the hell am I doing here?! It’s the time of year when people are suppose to be with loved ones and bring holiday cheer to family and friends. Not fly around places trying to find some intangible (God knows what) answer to my soul’s yearning.”
All I did during that jaunt was watch foreign revelers walking merrily on their way to whatever festive occasion they needed to go; while I was roaming their streets trying to find my better self. It was the first time I truly felt alone and isolated.
But I was determined to break the pattern of drowning in my usual self. I had to find a way to drop the old reality.
I felt that doing something radically different allowed me to stretch and grow.
During the foreign trip, I gave myself tons of time to think, question my old philosophies, redefine passions, contemplate every aspect of my life and prayed for a breakthrough.
I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but after that experience, I started a podcast. Although the office where I work wasn’t exactly elated at first by my new interest. However, they saw that clients interviewed were receptive to the free publicity gained by guesting in the program. Eventually, the office supported my endeavor.
THE INNER SPACE
Among the interviewees, there was one which significantly shifted my work perspective and what I should be doing with my life. It was the interview with Miss Becky Ortega, senior teacher of Brahma Kumaris, at Inner Space.
I came across Inner Space office during a lazy Friday afternoon while I was trying to locate the comfort room at the 3rd floor of Medalle Building, Osmeña Boulevard in Cebu City.
I just came from Watson’s Pharmacy and wanted to relieve myself. You would certainly miss the office if you were talking with someone while walking through the hallway. It had a nondescript door and the paint on it somehow blended with the wall. Everything about it was ordinary except the signage on the door which read INNER SPACE. It peaked my interest.
“What is this place?, I asked the lady at the reception desk.
I learned that “The Inner Space” is a meditation and personal development centre which is often referred to as a place where you can relax and recharge. All activities are free of charge.
I made sure that this wasn’t a religious group or a cult before I decided to come back the next day to interview Miss Ortega and join their meditation session.
Meditation or more specifically Raja Yoga for the Inner Space participants is a yoga intended to achieve control over the mind and emotions.
The main purpose of meditation is to calm the mind in order to eradicate mental discomfort and be able to attain a worry-free state of being. Otherwise, if the mind wanders and focuses on the negative things in life, it would be difficult to attain peace and happiness. Through constant meditation, clarity of mind is attained.
According to Miss Ortega, we create an inner space to discipline our mind regardless of the external circumstances. With meditation, we eventually eradicate the causes of all our suffering by detaching ourselves from our desires and live in the moment, go with the flow and just be grateful for whatever comes our way, she said. This way, we experience a permanent kind of inner peace. When there is inner peace, we tend to attract good things in life.
Did I get the things that I wanted because of the disruptions that happened to me ? Yes, of course, and other delightful unexpected outcomes!
When I decided to change the way I think and do things, my circumstances changed for the better.
And because of how minor disruptions have caused positive changes in how I approached situations and circumstances, I prayed for a bigger disruption. Not just in one area of my existence. I needed a total overhaul of my life.
A disruption could be a person, an event or a crisis. I honestly wasn’t expecting COVID 19.
STARTING ANEW
But in 2020, COVID 19 made people rethink everything they were doing with their lives. So I’m not complaining.
In fact, I am happy that COVID 19 happened. I wasn’t pleased with the way things were. And if a crisis was the only way to turn the tide, I was willing to take that risk.
You see if you asked the universe for something. It will give it to you. You just don’t get to choose how it will be delivered. So, I was prepared for the unexpected.
Unlike most people, I was excited about the lockdown in Cebu last year because I knew I was getting the change I’ve always wanted.
Gradually, a shift in my reality occured. One by one, the situations and circumtances that I requested I got to experience, except for one. In place of that one unfulfilled wish, the Universe gave me something much better — so much better that I would have preferred it over my original wish if I knew then what I know now.
I talked to an officemate early this year about that one situation we wanted to experience which finally happened. She said, it’s feels surreal to have your prayers answered — “your heart feels expansive, full of joy, inspired and blessed.”
That’s the same way I want you to experience this year and for years to come.
I talked about “DISRUPTION” in this article because I could be that “DISRUPTION” in your life — the person that challenges your traditional way of doing things and usual thought processes.
Think about that possibility. What if you are given this one chance to overhaul your personal narrative?
This disruption could help you hack into your dreams, so you can achieve something better, something wonderfully different with your life.
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For more information on The Inner Space, visit their FB page: https://www.facebook.com/theinnerspacecebu/
