Everyone probably has a best friend or at least a favorite confidant.
As many surveys would agree with me, you probably found your best buddy in school or at work.
According to studies, these lasting friendships are forged at a time when you are at your authentic self and are freely expressing your thoughts and feelings.
I believe lasting friendships are not something you plan or work too hard. I certainly didn’t have any expectations when I met Loi at work. I was too self absorbed.
DISCOVERING A FRIEND
The first time I had her acquaintance, I was slogging away in a cramped room, chasing deadlines while keeping my demanding boss happy. She was a newly promoted field staff reassigned to our unit.
For many full-time workers like me, it can feel like life revolves around our job. We wake up, we go to work, we go home, we eat, we sleep and then repeat. But friends can make the drudgery of work bearable and at times enjoyable. Loi’s reassuring, caring personality was a contrast to my apathetic character.
Nevertheless, our contrasting personality traits were not a hindrance to finding rapport. Because of our physical proximity at work, we soon found things in common such as love for travel, interest in health and financial management.
Loi’s old wooden desk was situated near mine. Her job was on research and statistics. While I assisted her in the narrative interpretation of data. Since we usually arrived at the office way before the official call time, it afforded us a few minutes of friendly conversation. It wasn’t long before the casual talk turned to more serious discussions on esoteric matters, advice on health and how to deal with a project we were implementing.
Although Loi may appear reserved and delicate, she was always ready for new travel experiences.
CALL TO ADVENTURE
One morning, while reading the local newspaper, she chanced upon an article on the launching of the new Cebu-Leyte-Samar- Bicol- Quezon-Laguna-Pasay route of the Philtranco
Bus Transport Services. She excitedly invited me and one other officemate to take the trip with her saying that it would be a good vacation/ adventure for us.
Long roadtrips were relatively new to me, so at first I was apprehensive. But I trusted Loi since she’s a veteran traveler who regularly goes home to Bohol from Cebu every weekend.
So we agreed to pack our essentials in one small bag and to meet at the bus terminal across SM City Cebu. It turned out that Loi and I were the only ones who showed up at the designated place and time.
Long distance roadtrips are not for everyone but its an experience I can share with friends and family for years.
Long drives took us to some pretty awesome places in the Philippines. We got to see interesting things along the Philtranco route. For 3 days we relished the sites, listened to people speaking in different dialects and took several pictures of iconic places.
But the problem with sitting in the bus for 9 hours or more was that it quickly became uncomfortable. And for 3 days straight, we didn’t have the luxury of taking a shower or sleep comfortably. I think it’s obvious from the photos that we haven’t had a decent bath or proper change of clothes in that roadtrip but we felt like we were in travel heaven.
ROADTRIP LEARNINGS
That trip made me realize a few things in life:
We can always find humor in any awkward situation. Like when Loi and I got lost in Pasay City after dinner at Kenny Rogers. We had to ask a tricycle driver the way back to the Philtranco terminal. Now our Tagalog vocabulary is far from extensive. But we wanted to tell him that we were confused with the street directions and used the word “libog”.
We couldn’t understand why he had this strange look on his face until we reached the terminal. According to one of the bus dispatchers , “libog” in Tagalog means lust. That revelation brought an eruption of laughter from Loi and became a source of mirth for me whenever I mentioned it to her during the trip back home.
Regardless of the circumstances, we can always find enjoyment and satisfaction out of the present moment. Despite 3 days of not taking a bath, not eating properly, not getting enough sleep, Loi and I were happy that we got to experience the places we don’t normally visit. That was enough compensation for all our inconveniences.
I also realized that age isn’t really a good gauge for emotional maturity. Loi is years younger than me yet she has a higher emotional quotient. Unlike me, she feels empathy and concern for others who are outside her family circle.
I can remember her sitting at the edge of my bed during a rough boat ride. She ‘d rather forgo sleep so she could immediately wake me up in case of an emergency. That was an admirable show of compassion.
I am well aware that I have the sort of personality that is difficult for other people to comprehend. Loi was exactly the friend I needed at that time. Her enormous amount of compassion, understanding, and ability to maintain friendships over a long period of time made me lose my cyncism and made me believe in the healing power of human goodness.
Years have passed since that roadtrip and our circumstances have changed. Loi now works in Canada, but she still checks up on me from time to time and never fails to greet me during special occasions.
Without meaning to, Loi has set a high bar for my friend prospects.
What about you? Do you also curate your social circle?
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